


dance with the devil

by duskafterdawn



Series: sunrise, sunset [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Kiss it better, M/M, Mentions of Character Death, Some mentions of gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 02:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18111095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duskafterdawn/pseuds/duskafterdawn
Summary: sasuke fights for more than his life, and naruto wishes that for once, as he watches helpless from the sidelines, that sasuke would be more selfish.





	dance with the devil

the audience erupts in a raucous roar as the two fighters enter from opposite sides of the domed arena, spotlights swerving to shine on them. fists pump. cheers warble in and out. most of the audience is confined to the rows and rows of metal seats that circle the downward sloping floors, but a small standing crowd has swarmed around the ring. they swivel to watch the fighters walk in. 

the crowd parts unwillingly as the fighters, surrounded by their own detail of security guards, make their way to the ring. the guards act as a barrier between the crowd and the fighters. even so, hands snake out to try and tug on the fighters’ white uniforms––loose pants and sleeveless tops made out of well-worn material. after today’s duel, the uniforms will be bleached and reused for future fights. 

the larger fighter wears a confident smile as he approaches the ring from the north-side, hardly paying attention to the hands that pass over him. some heckle, some praise––he looks over the faces, grin stretching wider and wider as he hears his name pass through their mouths. 

the smaller fighter has rolled up his ill-fitting pant-legs thrice over, exposing his ankles. he keeps his head held high, and shoulders back, his dark hair left loose around his face. his long bangs keep most of his face from view, but his eyes focus on the ring and ring alone. unlike his opponent, he has his mouth set in a firm line––impossible to interpret. someone shouts his name. someone else boos him, or are they booing his opponent?

the fact that he’s even here means that he’s touchable, that he can be knocked off his pedestal. 

the guards block the steps to the platform to ensure that no overzealous audience members try anything, and as soon as the fighters step into the ring, the standing crowd presses forward. bodies pressed against bodies pressed against the base of the platform. their hands reach upwards to the edge of the ring, snagging at the hard mat. the crowd squeezes even closer together, elbows knocking into ribs, feet stepping on feet. they angle closer to catch a better view of the fight, however, the security guards stand steadfast, blocking the stairways. 

the smell of fried meat mingles with the sweaty bodies in the arena. the smell wafts in from the exists, south of the ring. the large doors have been propped open, trying to let in cool air, and with it comes the smell and clamor of the vendors. just outside the doors, vendors have set up their carts, and they eye all the stragglers to catch their attention, calling out to them. 

“hey, watch it!” 

naruto weaves around the carts and people, darting this way and that to make it to one of the entrances to the arena. the setting sun casts long shadows over the ground, cool evening air rushing in naruto’s lungs as sweat runs down his face. he had no time to change from his uniform, dusty and smelling like the stable. 

one vendor calls out, “uchihas try to restore their honor––eat now before he’s a goner!”

naruto grits his teeth. the words rub against the fear in his chest, but he puts them out of his mind. he squeezes between two people and dives into the arena, into the darkness. his bare feet hit the cold concrete floor, but the humid air reaches into his lungs, offering no reprieve. he stands there for a moment, sweat dripping down his face, before he notices that the fighters have already ducked through the ropes. the spotlights shine on the ring, highlighting the two figures. 

the sloped floor makes it for easier viewing, but naruto jumps on the spot, trying to get a better view. people stand thick in the aisles, packing in closer and closer. it seems like over half the district has shown up, and already, more have filed in behind naruto. 

“i can’t believe he’s doing this.” 

the voice comes in front of naruto, but he can’t tell who says it. 

“if he doesn’t, what do the uchihas have left to lose?”

“i guess you’re right….”

naruto frowns, tightening his fists. he has to stay cool. _don’t think about it, don’t think about it_.

“bastard,” someone growls to his left. “serves the uchihas right. buncha bastards.” 

someone else chuckles. “careful now. we’re in _their_ building after all.”

“so you’re saying it’s fixed?”

more people laugh around naruto.

he slowly pushes his way backwards, making a snap decision. he won’t stand here with running commentary in his ear––no matter what sasuke said. 

he moves to the back of the room, dissolving into the shadows clinging to the walls. naruto holds his breath as he squeezes between people, trying to make himself small. it’s most likely thanks to everyone’s interest on the ring that he gets few stares. even though he looks like everyone else, grubby and coming straight from the fields or other manual jobs, he struggles to keep a low-profile. usually it’s his mouth that gets him in trouble, so naruto holds his breath, gritting his teeth together.

he has to stay cool. 

naruto moves to the back of the room, behind the last row of seats and pushes himself as close to the metal tower bolted and secured to the wall. he looks up at it, studying the metal rungs. he tugs on one, and when it doesn’t budge, he grins. 

_oh, yeah. it’ll do._

to be fair, sasuke did not explicitly say he couldn’t watch from _this_ vantage point. he said not to do anything “rash.” and what did that mean, anyway?

naruto looks around, but no one has noticed him evaluating the tower. without much more consideration, he scales it. he quietly scrambles over the rungs, ascending higher and higher. 

near the top, naruto stops. the top of the tower holds lighting equipment, and he catches himself staring at the big spotlight, quadruple the size of his head. most buildings in konoha have some form of working electricity, but electrical lights are found sparingly in residential homes. candles and lanterns tend to be the best option. he’s never seen such thing up close. 

naruto looks below, satisfied with his position. he now has a perfect view of the ring, far from the gossip below. 

a woman climbs over the ropes to stand in the middle of the ring. unlike the fighters, she wears a long tan duster, her dark hair pulled up in a clip at the top of her head. she looks a little disheveled, like she maybe just finished a fight of her own. 

she approaches the two opponents and gestures for them to touch fists briefly and then lets them break apart to sink into their stances. naruto’s stomach flips. he watches as the larger fighter smacks his fists together, grinning at the dark-haired young man. 

_sasuke._

sasuke’s back is to naruto, but he sees sasuke lift his chin, in his own challenge. naruto clenches every muscle in his body. 

the audience calls out impatiently for the fight to start. 

the woman looks at each opponent and gives the rules of the duel, but the roar of the crowd drowns out her words. naruto only sees her mouth move without sound. he knows the rules, however. sasuke made sure of that. 

_“during the duel, no outside help and no outside weapons. first one incapacitated wins.”_

naruto had known the gist of this his whole life, but he did have to ask sasuke what he meant by “incapacitated.” other than that he understood. sasuke had been very sure of it too, seeming to hammer home the first stipulation. 

what did sasuke think? that he’d throw himself in the ring? 

naruto swallows, jittering with pent up energy despite sprinting the whole way to the arena. he still has his eyes fixed on sasuke, and he thinks sasuke may have been right to forewarn him. there’s something dangerous in the air, like the energy before a storm. and it’s a storm that naruto can’t run from; there’s no escaping this. 

the woman raises her hand in the air, pointing two fingers toward the ceiling. 

sasuke raises his fists, keeping them close to his chin, and widens his stance a bit. his opponent follows but at a slower pace, a wolfish grin stretching his lips over his teeth.

the moment drags on…

…and then the woman drops her hand, yelling, “start!” she scrambles back over the side of the ring, but she needn’t have hurried. 

sasuke’s hair flops against his face as he starts to bounce his feet in and out, stepping to and from the larger man. he dances just out of the man’s range, naruto catching glimpses of that ineffable expression of his. 

naruto loops an arm around one of the rungs to lean out over open air, craning closer. he watches sasuke intently, almost holding his breath. it’s not that he has no faith in sasuke. far from it. 

naruto’s eyes flicker to sasuke’s opponent. he also wears his hair, stark white, hanging loose around his face, but he wears the evidence of previous fights. when the man grinned at sasuke, he was missing teeth, and naruto thinks his nose has been broken at least once before, crooked as it is.

naruto’s bicep screams for a break, and he pulls himself back close to the scaffolding to switch arms. just as he drops his eyes, the crowd screams in approval, but by the time naruto looks back to the ring, sasuke is already bouncing away, the man stumbling back from a blow to the chest. 

naruto pumps his free hand into the air, screaming “yeah!” but he bites his lip once he remembers he’s hanging from a place few may want him to hang from. naruto shoots his eyes to the ground, but thankfully, no one seems to notice his outburst; the crowd below is too entranced with the scene in the ring. 

some of the people closest to the ring hold up metal pails, enthusiastically holding them above their heads. an odd feeling unfurls in his stomach at the sight. what…are they doing? 

it takes him a moment, eyes flicking between the fight and the people waving the pails over their heads before he understands. 

he might be sick. 

never before has he been to a death duel, and sasuke was cryptic about the details last night. he knew one person would walk away and the other…. well. naruto bites the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. shikamaru had been right; he didn’t like this at all. 

that morning, his friend had found him while he was cleaning out the stalls. shikamaru wasn’t a necessarily quiet person, and he hadn’t been trying to sneak up on naruto, but he still jumped in his skin when shikamaru asked in his usual drawl, “i guess you’ll be going tonight?” 

naruto kept sprinkling clean hay over the bottom of the stall, not turning to look at him. truthfully, he had been lost in a swirl of thoughts, mechanically doing work while his mind roamed rampant down avenues of worry. 

he swallowed, realizing too late what shikamaru had asked him. “yeah,” he answered, terse. “i’m gonna go.”

a long silence followed.

naruto sprinkled another fistful of hay, making it a point to not look at shikamaru, to hold in everything for as long as he could––

“it gets vicious in there, you know. i’ve been before, and it’s not good, naruto.” a pause. “you won’t like it.” 

in a burst of movement, naruto swung his foot at an empty water bucket, launching it at the wall. the bucket bounced off, rolling back beside him. naruto found it gave him no satisfaction. it had made him feel no better. “i can’t _not_ go,” he said. he finally whirled around to see his friend watching him from the stall door, eyes on the empty bucket.

shikamaru smoothed a hand over his ponytail, shutting his eyes. he sighed. “i’m just warning you––”

the words barely left his mouth when naruto surged forward to pull shikamaru into a hug. and for once, shikamaru let him. 

naruto doesn’t have to search the crowd to know that shikamaru’s not here. 

naruto tightens his grip on the tower, his mind going back over all the details that sasuke told him over the years, stories of fighters that are brutally beaten, pools of blood and teeth swept off the edge of the ring. sometimes body parts for more vicious fights.

is that what they want? a piece of the fight? 

naruto watches someone nearly drop their bucket in excitement and his frown deepens. sasuke told him that the spectators who are lucky enough––he rolled his eyes as he emphasized “lucky”––would be able to catch a bit of the carnage for themselves as reward for witnessing the event. 

naruto didn’t think sasuke had meant it so literally. 

he curses under his breath. 

sasuke’s words come back to him, echoing in naruto's mind. “the last duel was over five years ago. they’ve been itching for one, you know. to watch me take back my family’s honor––” he grimaced, “––or lose it.” 

_honor_ ––naruto snorts. his fingers start to slip against the metal, and he readjusts again. his eyes sweep over the crowd and then back to the ring, to sasuke and his outsized opponent. he sees no honor here, not in this. 

naruto tried telling sasuke that very thing last night. 

needless to say, it didn’t work.

naruto sucks in a sharp breath; sasuke’s opponent––the man named mizu- mizuki, he tries to remember––lunges forward, nearly catching sasuke off-guard. sasuke manages to step out of the way and quickly bounces back out of range, but naruto catches the slight stutter in his step. as impervious as sasuke’s expression would have everyone believe, he’s rattled. 

_c’mon, get your head in it._

sweat drips between naruto’s shoulder-blades. he thought it was hot on the ground, but up here it’s unbearable. he pulls at his shirt, trying to fan cool air onto his face. naruto’s heart beats as if he’s the one in the ring, thumping in his throat, beating so loud that the crowd’s jeers are muffled in comparison. 

mizuki lunges forward again, but this time sasuke easily steps out of range, landing light on the balls of his feet. naruto releases a long-held breath.

mizuki’s fists swing at the space sasuke previously inhabited, striking too slow and leaving the side of his ribcage _wide open_. but sasuke does not take the opportunity; he bounces away.

half of naruto is thankful he passed up the chance, but the other half, the one that’s watched sasuke spar, is shocked he didn’t take it. 

unable to resist, naruto’s eyes wander up to the spectator’s box, the only vantage point higher than his own. the spectator’s box looks over the arena, by way of a tall window with thick, reinforced glass. the only way to access the box is to enter through an outer hallway, through a series of guarded doors––according to sasuke, that is.

in the box, uchiha fugaku stands behind the glass with his wife and firstborn son. all are dressed in variations of dark blue or black, matching their dark hair. whereas fugaku’s features are square and thick, uchiha mikoto is the opposite, pointed and dainty. both sasuke and his brother, itachi, take mostly after mikoto, and in sasuke’s case, his penchant of looking down his nose at others led them to believe that he was pretentious, handsome and too good for anyone else. 

which…isn’t that far from the truth. 

the uchiha family own the arena, which is normally used for regular sparring matches and other similar events, however, they also host the death duels on behalf of the district. so while many have entered the ring and fought on behalf of their reputations, no one expected an uchiha, one of their own, to do it. the news came as a surprise to many, and it can account for why so _many_ attended tonight, to see for themselves what will happen.

fugaku watches the fight with a stern gleam in his eyes. naruto has always seen him from a distance, always with his mouth set in a grim slash across his face. he’s never seen any emotion on the man’s face other than a permanent state of displeasure. now, even as his son fights for his life down below, his face remains much the same.

sasuke’s elder brother wears a similar expression to his father’s, but naruto knows father and son wear their displeasure for dissimilar reasons. maybe because sasuke talks about his brother to him extensively, or maybe because naruto _knows_ itachi loves his brother more than anything else that naruto can see the difference. naruto watches itachi’s face twitch as sasuke avoids another narrow miss. mikoto is the only one who openly wears her worry, her brow pinched and her hands half-raised to her face. 

she half-turns, looking at her oldest son when itachi shudders, coughing into his hand. she says something to him, but itachi just turns away from the glass, his shoulders jumping with every cough. fugaku remains facing the fight. 

last night, naruto emerged from the trees, creeping to the lake’s shore. he spotted sasuke in the middle of the sandy beach with his knees pulled into his chest. he and sasuke knew this beach well, making these midnight visits almost as long as they’ve known each other. 

how many times had they rolled around on the sand? practiced sparring in the darkness? whispered secrets back and forth? 

it had been here where they shared their feelings, admitting what should have been said much sooner. naruto may have confessed his feelings to sasuke first, but with some prompting, sasuke admitted to falling for him first––years ago. 

that hadn’t been long ago. a few months at most. they’d been an odd pair of friends for much longer than being an odd pair of lovers, but still, it was years and years of knowing and trusting each other, having each other’s back. naruto hoped it counted for something. 

he padded across the sand, his bare feet making barely a sound. he sat beside sasuke, perpendicular to him and staring at his profile. “don’t fight,” naruto pleaded. no hello. just to the point. “please, don’t fight tomorrow.”

sasuke refused to look him in the eye. his gaze was somewhere over the water, somewhere in the opposite shore’s tree line. his fingers were buried in the sand, his long billowing shirt-sleeves pooling beside him with the cufflinks undone.

“please,” naruto whispered. rarely did he whisper. everyone always told him how nothing he did was quiet, but with the full moon hovering over the lake and the night bright around them, naruto felt as if a spotlight shone down on them, making them visible for miles around. 

“i have to,” sasuke finally said, each word making naruto’s stomach sink lower and lower. the hard edge in sasuke’s voice was familiar to him, reminiscent of a time when sasuke would tell him half-truths and keep him an arm’s-length away. 

sasuke told him, “you don’t understand.”

“understand?”

“naruto.” sasuke’s tone warned him not to argue.

but naruto was bad at listening too. “i understand,” he said, “that you could get killed tomorrow––over something as pointless as this.” naruto’s chest expanded as he sucked in a breath. understand? of course, he understood. “we know itachi. he’s sick, yeah, but what does that have to do with what that bastard said about him? nothing. his past actions should mean something.” 

sasuke firmed his jaw, grinding out the words, “i know that.”

“so don’t fight. it’s not worth risking everything over something so stupid.”

“you don’t get it.”

“no, i do. i really do.”

“no. you don’t. you _really_ don’t, naruto.”

“if you would just listen––”

whipping his head to him, sasuke seethed, “you have _nothing_ to lose.” teeth bared and hackles raised, naruto finally unsettled sasuke’s placid expression. 

sometimes it took a bit of digging with sasuke. naruto didn’t always understand, but sometimes (a lot of times) sasuke held back what he wanted to say, choosing to fold his arms over his chest and use his words and hands to keep anyone and everything from getting too close. 

naruto dragged his hand out of the sand and tugged on sasuke’s long sleeve, the pretty enamel cufflinks glinting in the moonlight. sasuke always wore better clothes than naruto thanks to his family’s prominence in the district, but for once naruto didn’t remark on the quality. his only intent was just to hold onto sasuke, to keep him close. 

sasuke stilled at naruto’s touch.

naruto slid closer, and even though sasuke remained rigid, he stayed put. the fronts of naruto’s calves brushed against the other’s hip. he looked sasuke in the eyes and told him, “i don’t have a family, but that doesn’t mean i have nothing.”

he still held onto sasuke’s sleeve.

“you,” naruto continued, “have so much riding on you. you think i don’t know; you think when i ask you to not go through with this i’m asking you to ignore all of that.” naruto moved his grip from sasuke’s sleeve to his shoulder, sasuke’s eyes following the movement.

naruto cleared his throat, but his voice still wavered as he said, “i’m asking you to be– be selfish for once.” he dropped his head onto sasuke’s shoulder, and the seconds ticked by before sasuke’s hand cupped the back of naruto’s head, his body finally relaxing under naruto’s touch. he sank into naruto, leaning the side of his chin against naruto’s messy blond head. 

“i– i didn’t mean it,” sasuke mumbled.

“i know.”

“but, naruto, i can’t _not_ fight.”

naruto lifted his head, a breath away from sasuke’s face. he could see sasuke wanting to pull away, that he wanted to retract and bury himself deep within, but naruto took sasuke’s hand between his own, smoothing his skin with his thumbs. 

“sasuke….”

the other shook his head. the loose pieces of his bangs fell over his dark eyes. “i can’t be selfish. not when it comes to my family.” 

naruto inched himself even closer, now weaving his long legs around sasuke’s form. when sasuke didn’t protest, naruto brought up his hands to gently cup sasuke’s chin, being as gentle as he would if a butterfly perched on his fingertips. 

“naruto,” sasuke said. his eyes remained hard, but his tone softened. “i can’t go against the code of combat. mizuki insulted itachi––my family––so my father issued the challenge. but itachi can’t carry it out. he wants to, but he shouldn’t; it’s…. so the challenge goes to me.”

sasuke’s father was still paying for a mistake he made years ago. his reputation within the district took a severe hit, sly looks and under-the-breath remarks exchanged around tables whenever fugaku’s name entered conversation. 

that was until uchiha itachi proved himself more than worthy as a successor. he had been a renowned fighter even from an early age and had earned respect from even the most skeptical officers in their district. he’d led men older than him into the wilds on scavenging assignments, research missions. 

but then he was attacked on a routine mission out in the wilds.

and no amount of healing or rest helped.

sasuke assured naruto that doctors and a steady supply of medicine had helped stabilize itachi, that he was fine as long as he was careful, but it effectively ended itachi’s blooming career. 

naruto knew it still worried sasuke, no matter how much he said it didn’t. it was nearing two years since the onset of itachi’s decline in health, and he had spent so much longer rebuilding his family’s reputation through his numerous successes.

but at the slightest sign of weakness, wolves pounce. 

in the district center, mizuki, a jealous man that had long been snubbed by uchiha fugaku, finally let his anger loose, openly mocking itachi and the uchiha family for all to hear. 

_“how far the mighty uchiha line has fallen––only two successors and one soon to be shuffled into the grave. the uchihas own the arena but can’t fight to even defend themselves.”_

mizuki went on and on, his words rippling through the district. everyone had talked about what he said, passing along their own versions to friends and friends of friends, allowing them to air their own thoughts of the uchiha family with the excuse that they weren’t the first to say so. 

before the day was out, fugaku had issued the death duel. 

honor, something intangible but known by all, could be taken and given like the changing of seasons. the uchiha reputation had suffered, but fugaku’s decision surprised even those who agreed with mizuki. for fugaku to offer up his remaining son in a death duel, a duel that allowed combatants to maim, disfigure, and ultimately kill their opponent, caused even the hardest hearts to stir. 

when naruto asked sasuke to be selfish it was because he thought fugaku far too selfish. 

but maybe that was what sasuke meant. with no family name, no honor to uphold, naruto couldn’t see what there was at stake. he gritted his teeth. he thought of iruka; he thought of kakashi. sakura. sasuke. he had no blood relatives, but if he were in fugaku’s position, he would not let anyone else fight his fights. 

because death wasn’t worth the illusion of honor.

sasuke reached out to naruto’s cheek, brushing his thumb against his scarred skin. 

naruto hadn’t always lived in the district, though the time _before_ may as well be a dark curtain in his mind, hiding the memories he can’t touch. he had been so young…. he remembered waking up outside konoha’s walls, someone prodding at him with their foot. was he dangerous? a child couldn’t survive alone in the wilds. where did he come from? something must be wrong with him. 

they brought him in because, and only because, he had been a child. small enough to do no harm, but that didn’t mean most people thought it a good idea. flashes of faces––the elders watching him, evaluating him. what were they going to do with him? sarutobi, konoha’s district leader, had been the only one to offer him something––a place on his estate, working for him. 

for weeks after his arrival, people watched him, eyeing his scars and speculating where he came from. most kept their distance from him aside from iruka, who had reached out first. 

but his first real friend had been sasuke. 

desperation rose in naruto’s chest, everything surreal and impermanent, and he tightened his grip on sasuke as he fervently brushed the bangs away from sasuke’s eyes. he needed to look into those eyes, to ground himself, because everything was slipping away far too fast. _sasuke_ was slipping away. sand through fingers. a tipped hour-glass. the moon’s position hinted it was much too late, that the next day had already begun. in a number of hours, sasuke would be facing someone in the ring.

one of them wouldn’t come out alive. 

the water lapped against the beach. a bird whistled in the trees. 

“i’ll do it,” naruto said. “that’s the law, right? someone can volunteer for a fighter if their family’s future is dependent on them.” naruto racked his brain, trying to remember all that kakashi told him. he wished he had paid more attention. the laws and stipulations slipped around his head, but he pressed on. 

“i’ll go to sarutobi. i’ve spent the past ten years mucking stalls for him, and i know for a fact that the old man has a soft spot for me. he’ll listen,” naruto assured, plan forming in his head. “he’ll let me––”

“no!” sasuke’s voice came out suddenly, startling a bird from its perch. he wrenched his head back from naruto’s hands, so that they only held open air. sasuke jabbed his finger in naruto’s face, and he once again wore that brittle anger of his. he leaned forward into naruto, but naruto refused to budge––even with sasuke’s finger dangerously close to his eye. 

“don’t you dare,” sasuke breathed. “don’t you say a word to him.”

naruto jutted out his chin. “why?”

“you dumbass.” sasuke grabbed the collar of naruto’s shirt to pull him in closer. sasuke’s eyes briefly swept their surroundings, but they were still alone. but sasuke’s grip held naruto’s attention, space becoming smaller between them, and if it was a different night, if this was a normal argument, naruto would have liked how sasuke closed the distance between them. 

sasuke looked naruto in the eye, face in shadow and serious. a thrill jolted through him. sasuke, in a hushed voice, said, “listen to me, sarutobi doesn’t give a shit about what happens tomorrow. i think he’d be happy should mizuki and i _both_ drop dead.” sasuke gritted his teeth. “don’t get involved.”

sasuke, in confidence, had told naruto many things over the years. much like the way naruto didn’t understand when sasuke withheld his true thoughts from him, naruto didn’t understand the web of politics that seemed to be based on the same principle. people, especially those in charge, said one thing and meant another. 

naruto still found it hard to believe everything sasuke had to say about the man who let him stay above his stable and take care of his horses. this too, was a well-worn argument between them. naruto opened his mouth to argue.

“besides,” sasuke cut across, anticipating naruto’s disagreement. his eyebrows were still drawn low on his forehead. naruto glimpsed embers of fire in his eyes; that same thrill ran through him again. “you want me to be selfish? i’ll be selfish then. don’t get involved; don’t you _dare_ get involved, naruto.”

sasuke’s hands shook, one still fisted in naruto’s collar and the other dropping to rest on naruto’s chest, just over his heart. he had twisted in the sand so he was on his knees, the slight leverage making him loom over naruto. sasuke’s lip curled as he said, “i have to be the one to do it. not you….” he trailed off, dropping his gaze. “you won’t fight my fight.” 

“i––”

rather than words, sasuke’s expression cut naruto off. distress finally worked its way to the surface, emerging through the anger, making naruto pause in his rebuttal. he saw the words on the tip of sasuke’s tongue, and he bit back his own, exercising patience to let sasuke have the chance. 

“just like you won’t let others fight your fights, naruto, i can’t let you fight mine.” sasuke’s hand twitched over naruto’s heart. no doubt, he felt how it shuddered and trembled beneath his hand. “let me do this.” 

there was no changing his mind. 

naruto’s face crumpled, the fear clawing up his throat and burning behind his eyes. he ducked his head and tried to choke it back. he tried focusing on the sand between his toes, on the slight chill in the air. he tried to anchor himself in the present, focusing on how sasuke still held him tightly. on how the other looked down at him, and that time was slipping…slipping away….. 

“besides, you’re terrible at fighting. you’re such an idiot that the match would be over before it even started.”

naruto looked up sharply, tears still pooling in his eyes but mouth already open to disagree. 

naruto’s quick-rising anger deflated with sasuke’s mouth descending on his, sasuke’s hand on his collar moving up to naruto’s neck, pulling him closer and drawing him in. 

naruto smelled like horses, like sweat. he knew for a fact that hay was still stuck in his hair. dirt crusted underneath his fingernails. he waited for sasuke to make a point of it, but he continued to kiss naruto, kissing his mouth and then his cheeks, moving down to kiss his neck. sasuke shifted and leaned more and more into naruto, ever-so-slightly pushing him backwards.

naruto refused to let space come between them.

as naruto leaned back more and more, he grabbed sasuke’s shoulders, pulling him down with him. naruto’s back hit the sand with a soft thump, sasuke’s weight fully on top of him with sasuke’s back to the full moon, his face in complete shadow. naruto, though, was not mistaken when sasuke leaned in, brushing his face against naruto’s neck, and he felt the wetness on his own skin. 

naruto’s hands dropped to sasuke’s waist, kissing him back. hard. his pulse rocketed under his skin. he craned his neck forward to meet sasuke’s mouth, never getting enough, never getting as close as he wanted. lips locked––sasuke reached down, moving naruto’s hands off his waist, and naruto made a noise in his throat until sasuke twined their hands together, palms meeting, and pressing them into the sand on either side of naruto’s head. 

they stayed like that for awhile with sasuke straddling naruto in the moonlight. as quickly as the fires kindled, they died. their kisses lost fervency, turning languid. softer. they might have been the only ones on the beach, but it was not private by any means. naruto saw the indecision in sasuke’s eyes when he finally pulled his head back. 

naruto whispered, “is there no changing your mind?”

sasuke’s hands tightened on naruto’s, belying his next words. “it’s… it’s late; we should go.” he looked around them, ever vigilant, before looking back down at naruto. “i’ll be fine tomorrow. trust me.”

naruto couldn’t convince him. 

presently, naruto darts another look toward the spectator’s box, at itachi’s shoulders shaking with coughs, at mikoto putting a hand on his shoulder, looking between itachi and sasuke’s fight. 

guilt leadens naruto’s stomach. sasuke returned home early this morning, both sneaking through the garden, but only sasuke slipped back through his window, much quieter than naruto ever could. they stood there staring at each other, naruto in the garden and sasuke inside. 

what was naruto to have done, though? 

“don’t do anything rash,” sasuke had hissed. gone was the tenderness from the beach and back was the hardness in his eyes and mouth. 

and then sasuke shut the window. 

no goodbye, no parting romantic sentiment. naruto had scowled and had half a mind to bang on the window until sasuke opened it, but he didn’t. he exercised all the restraint he had and turned on his heel, hurt echoing in his chest as he snuck off the uchiha’s property, vaulting himself over the wall separating the estate from the rest of the district. 

he returned back to sarutobi’s estate, pausing before climbing the rickety ladder to the single room over the old stable. 

he eyed the main house. how easy it’d have been to knock on the door, to announce to sarutobi his intentions. currently, sarutobi must know _something_ about what he feels for the youngest uchiha, but to throw his name into the fight might have revealed _everything_ to the old man. 

sasuke had been clear that he didn’t want sarutobi to know. 

_“don’t do anything rash.”_

“dammit.” naruto had hissed under his breath, climbing up into the loft. sasuke was right; he couldn’t keep his head on for anything. as he settled onto his straw mattress, pulling the wool blanket over him, he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. not in this instance. 

he didn’t sleep. 

the crowd roars, bringing naruto back into the present. he blinks and switches arms again. how long has the fight been going––hours? naruto looks up to the spectator’s box to see the large timer hanging beneath the glass window. only a minute has passed.

naruto swallows. 

mizuki lunges once again, but this time he manages to change directions at the last second, stepping directly into sasuke’s projected path. naruto watches it happen in slow-motion. sasuke has already oversold his movement, and mizuki steps past sasuke’s strike zone, much too close. 

for a moment, mizuki’s size completely dwarfs him. 

mizuki tackles sasuke to the mat. 

silence rings in naruto’s ears.

a collective cheer rises from the crowd as naruto shouts in horror.

mizuki brings sasuke down by the waist, thick arms wrapping around his middle and dragging him straight down. sasuke has enough sense to keep his chin tucked in, striking the mat with his shoulders to minimize the whiplash to his head. sasuke’s hands remain free, mizuki’s mistake, and sasuke aims punch after punch to mizuki’s temple. 

the same spot over and over. 

sasuke lands only a few shots before mizuki wrenches his hands away, holding them by his wrists, but this is what sasuke needs to twist his body underneath mizuki, flipping onto his hip. 

while mizuki dwarfs sasuke in size, sasuke makes up for it in speed.

in the split-second it takes sasuke to switch onto his hip, he also pulls his knee high to his chest and plants it into the fold of mizuki’s waist. his other foot planted firmly on the mat, he pushes off the ground while simultaneously pushing against mizuki. he takes the man by surprise, which allows sasuke to flip him despite their sizes.

mizuki hits the mat hard. naruto thinks he sees him hit his head. 

sasuke doesn’t press his advantage, however, and slips off mizuki. he scrambles to the other side of the ring. 

naruto lets a breath go, an unsteady laugh teetering out. sasuke’s used that move on him before whenever they’ve sparred. one day he spent hours letting naruto try to flip him, so naruto could perfect the move. naruto remembers how when he finally managed to flip sasuke, naruto straddling his waist and ready to strike, sasuke cracked a smile at him. 

naruto sucks in another breath and lets it go slowly. he looks up. fugaku shifts in the window, his frown deepening at what unfolded below. itachi stands rigid, still as death. 

naruto looks back at the ring. mizuki stands, arms lowered and leaving himself open for one, two, three full seconds. naruto shakes his head as he watches, finally seeing what sasuke must. mizuki may have strength to his advantage, but he’s not a polished fighter. sasuke has the endurance to wear his opponent down, so there’s little point stepping to the openings mizuki leaves for him.

sasuke’s breath comes out slightly harder from the effort of throwing mizuki off him, his hair and uniform disheveled, but none the worse for wear. 

even from this distance, naruto thinks he sees the ghost of a smirk on his face.

naruto curses, switching arms again. 

sasuke and mizuki circle the ring, mizuki visibly breathing harder. was he so confident to think that his strength alone could have won him the fight? mizuki didn’t have to agree to fugaku’s request for a duel, but his jealousy and hatred must have blinded him, filling himself with a false confidence in his own abilities. 

naruto watches sasuke step lithely around the ring, every now and then faking attacks. mizuki falls for it once, throwing his whole body into a counter-attack, which sasuke dodges. it’s still too close for naruto’s liking, though. 

at the two minute mark, mizuki looks unsteady on his feet, reacting too slow to sasuke. sweat dribbles down his face. his feet stutter. it seems that sasuke’s strategy is working as he wears mizuki down more and more. 

but then sasuke makes a mistake.

never has he fought like this. he’s sparred in his family’s training room; he’s sparred naruto on the beach, teaching him how to fend off anyone who’d want to pick a fight with him. never, though, has sasuke sparred in such a ceremonious way, with so many people watching and his fate in the hands of his opponent. muscle memory can only do so much. 

sasuke’s foot slips on the mat. 

mizuki, tired but not foolish enough to not take the chance, springs forward to knock sasuke the rest of the way down. naruto feels like he’s experiencing déjà vu. except this time mizuki makes sure to keep his knees planted on sasuke’s arms, gripping his thick hands around sasuke’s throat. 

from naruto’s angle, he only sees mizuki’s back. sasuke’s twitching legs. naruto’s heart thunders in his ears. he needs to help. it was a mistake; he made a mistake letting sasuke fight today. he should have tried harder to convince him. he should have taken his place. 

the crowd screams horrible obscenities, eager for blood.

the metal pails wave amongst the sea of clamoring bodies.

naruto starts to scale down the scaffolding, but he only make it down three rungs when the crowd screams louder. cheering. 

naruto whips his head to the ring, freezing when he sees the blood. his heart stops. sasuke…?

but no. sasuke’s free. crawling away from mizuki, coughing as he forces air back into his lungs. meanwhile, mizuki sits back on his heels, screaming in pain as he holds his face, blood dripping between his fingers. 

mizuki finally drops his hands, back still turned to naruto. where’s the blood coming from? enraged, mizuki throws himself at sasuke. 

sasuke gets his knees under himself just in time, bracing for mizuki’s weight as they collide. mizuki captures him in a bear hug, but sasuke quickly threads his hand between mizuki’s arm and his own chest. he locks his hands together, trapping mizuki’s wrist between them. and then sasuke jerks downward, breaking mizuki’s hold by breaking his wrist. 

the crowd eagerly swallows mizuki’s scream.

and for the first time, sasuke doesn’t relent. 

sasuke slams his elbow back into mizuki’s chest, knocking the man off-balance, and then he swings his fist back into mizuki’s crotch. the man falls away from sasuke, and as his head whips back, naruto finally sees that all the blood spurts from mizuki’s nose. 

with his good arm, mizuki latches onto sasuke, and the two scuffle on the mat, trying to capture the other in a hold. naruto’s stomach twists watching as mizuki’s broken wrist flops uselessly beside him. 

naruto squeezes his eyes shut when sasuke grabs onto mizuki’s broken wrist, twisting sharply. naruto thinks he hears mizuki’s scream pierce above the crowd’s fervor. 

naruto opens one eye, peeking back down at the ring. he doesn’t want to watch anymore, but he must. he has to make sure sasuke wins. 

sasuke slips under the man’s good arm, getting behind mizuki in a flash. he throws his forearm around mizuki’s neck and locks his legs around the man’s middle. he drags him to the mat. the two land in a pile with mizuki on top, but sasuke keeps his hold secure. 

and then naruto watches as sasuke grabs his own arm, pulling back on mizuki’s neck. choking him. 

frantic, the man swings back with his good arm, trying grab at sasuke’s arm, then trying to hit sasuke in the head. 

mizuki’s face slowly turns red. 

his legs push wildly at the mat, but sasuke holds tight, focusing all his strength on choking the man. 

slowly, mizuki’s eyes roll back in his head.

elation explodes in naruto’s chest. the duel is over. it’s done. sasuke won–– _he won_. naruto cheers with the rest of the crowd, pumping his fist and causing the scaffolding to tremble beneath him. 

but sasuke hasn’t let go. he continues to squeeze, his own face turning pink with exertion. 

naruto’s happy feeling shrivels inside him. 

the woman in the duster reenters the ring, shouting for the end of the match. “challenger down, challenger down!” sasuke fails to hear her, though, until she slaps her hand down on the mat beside them. 

sasuke lets go. his eyes wide, he stares at the women and then at the top of mizuki’s head, the immobile body on top of him. he lays there a moment, breathing hard, before rolling the body away from him. he twists onto his knees. the woman says something to him, but naruto can no longer anticipate her words. 

the woman now checks mizuki. she gives a firm nod and walks over to sasuke. he hasn’t left his knees. she reaches down and raises his arm into the air. 

if possible, the crowd screams louder. 

the cacophony of voices swirls in naruto’s ears, pressing in on him with the heat. his head feels light; he tries to tighten his grip on the metal bar, but his sweaty palm counteracts it, almost causing him to fall. 

with tunnel-like vision, naruto keeps his eyes on sasuke and sasuke alone. 

something arcs over the crowd, landing over the ropes and onto the mat. elongated and dark. several more things make it over the ropes, one object landing close to sasuke’s knee. the woman drops his hand and leans in to talk in his ear. 

sasuke stares at the thing beside him. he looks up at the woman––did she ask him a question? 

after a long stare she folds her arms and gestures to the object beside him. 

the crowd begins to chant. 

despite the sweat on naruto’s forehead, a chill runs through his body. a sourness twists his stomach. 

that feeling worsens when sasuke picks up the object, unsheathing it. the spotlight gleams off the metal. sasuke grips the hunting knife in one hand, remaining on his knees. 

the clamor of voices, now chanting, finally makes sense to naruto. “blood,” they repeat over and over. their voices calling in unison.

sasuke stands, gripping the hilt of the knife. 

the words “no” form on naruto’s lips, as he looks at the undulating crowd and then at sasuke’s grip on the knife. the look on his face––naruto doesn’t know how to read it. 

he wanted sasuke to win. he _needed_ him to win, which meant mizuki had to lose. so why does he tremble at the idea of sasuke dealing out death? 

sasuke is going to kill mizuki. 

_“you’re not gonna like it, naruto.”_

naruto thinks of iruka and kakashi, how they defend konoha’s walls from the creatures of the wilds. naruto has become familiar with the way kakashi loses focus if no one’s directly talking to him, as if lost in thought. in the way that only those that have touched death do. 

naruto knows that shikamaru went out into the wilds and came back different. sadder.

his chest clenches as he watches sasuke consider the knife in his hand. he turns in a small circle, eyes roving over the crowd that now cheers for him, urging him to seal his victory with a show of blood. 

sasuke steps forward, knife in hand as he stands over mizuki’s unconscious body. naruto can barely see his expression with his face tipped down toward his unconscious opponent. 

the chanting begins to falter as sasuke hasn’t yet acted, standing still as death itself. 

sasuke looks up at naruto. 

no, no that’s not right. he looks _above_ naruto, higher, at the spectator’s box. sasuke’s eyebrows furrow on his forehead, and naruto follows sasuke’s line of sight. fugaku has his arms folded across his chest, a scowl now marring his face. 

naruto’s eyes bounce between sasuke and fugaku, trying to track the solemn looks they trade, but naruto can’t determine their meanings. 

sasuke tightens his grip on the knife, a muscle in his jaw jumping. 

and then he lets the knife slip from his fingers. 

the arena immediately erupts in protest. they’ve been cheated from a show. 

sasuke walks to the woman, cupping a hand to her ear. she pulls her head back slightly and fixes him with a strange look. she seems to mull over his words and shrugs again, walking toward the center of the ring. she holds up a fist, and it takes a moment but the crowd quiets down for the first time tonight. 

the woman announces in a booming voice, “uchiha sasuke has decided the punishment. his opponent shall be exiled immediately from konoha following tonight and shall spend the rest of his days in the wilds.” she drops her fist, but the crowd began clamoring even before she finished. 

naruto stares at sasuke, at how his face has slipped back into a mask of steely irritation. sasuke looks at the crowd now rippling with questions and disappointed at the lack of gore––“can he do that?” “what’s he mean?”––as if daring them for another fight. he turns on his heel and approaches the ropes, to the small stairway from which he entered the ring. 

the guards stand there, forming a close circle around sasuke as they push through the waves of people. they block most of the hands that try and grab for him. a few who can’t get close throw rude gestures sasuke’s way, but if he sees them, he doesn’t give any sign. 

the guards do their best to escort sasuke to the back, shuffling him slowly towards his changing room, but the crowd seems wont to not let anyone pass, blocking as much as they can. more guards have to rush into the mass of bodies to try and clear a path, holding back audience members.

an empty metal pail goes flying. 

naruto scrambles down from the scaffolding, jumping down the last few rungs. he lands by a middle-aged man who clutches his heart at naruto’s sudden appearance, but naruto’s hasty apology is swallowed by the back-and-forth of audience members. 

“what a waste of time.” 

“can he even do that?” 

“i was right. i knew that the uchiha’d win.”

“yeah, ’cause it’s fixed, you mean.” 

naruto threads himself through conversations, pushing and elbowing his way toward the closest exit. naruto bursts back into the cool night air and greedily gulps it down. he, however, wastes no time, skirting along the building wall, making his way to the back. 

he refrains from running, though he feels like it. if one of those security guards caught him loafing around, there would be no excuse in the world that would keep them from tossing naruto off the property. 

naruto keeps his eyes peeled for a small window level with the ground. he creeps along in the bushes, branches and thorns pricking his feet, but after years of walking around barefoot, he hardly notices.

naruto ducks down as he finds one of the windows. on his hands and knees, he leans forward, peaking in to see a dark, empty room. not sasuke’s. quickly, naruto presses forward, looking for the next window. 

what if sasuke hasn’t made it back yet? what if he’s still stuck in the crowd? 

naruto shuts off that part of his brain, pushing forward. he made it through the worst of the night; he can’t let himself panic _now_. 

naruto approaches the next window, and already this one is more promising. light spills onto the sliver of ground between the wall and the thick bushes that ring the building. naruto squeezes himself into the narrow space, his feet pressing into the soil and branches scratching at his bare arm. 

naruto peers into the window at the lit up changing room. he spies a folding divider set up nearest to him, a pile of clothes left in a heap on the floor behind it. naruto pushes himself closer, and as he cranes his neck to get a better look, he can see a long bench bolted into the wall on the other side of the window. he doesn’t have long to stare before the door bangs open and sasuke bursts into the room, slamming the door shut behind him. 

his fists tight and shoulders tense, rage crinkles the lines of his body. the veins in his forearms pulse, likely still feeling the high of adrenaline. 

naruto lets out a deep breath, one he didn’t realize he held. he smiles––stupidly. his heart soars in his chest at the sight of sasuke, his breaths coming out short. sasuke’s alive; he’s alright. 

sasuke keeps his eyes on the floor as he paces to the center of the room, and he then spins in a small circle with his back to naruto, clenching and unclenching his fists. he takes his hands and pushes them through his hair, sliding them over his head and hooking them on the back of his neck. naruto notices the slight quivering of his shoulders, that he’s still breathing hard. 

without wasting another second, naruto raps his knuckles on the window. 

sasuke whirls around at the noise, face stricken and eyes wide. naruto most definitely startled him, and it takes sasuke a moment to lower the fists that he raised. he blinks a few times at naruto. he clearly hadn’t expected him. 

naruto, however, hitches up his grin even wider to compensate for sasuke’s scowl. his chest still tingles––is that an after-effect of being in the arena or seeing sasuke? it flutters like small wings beating against his rib cage, his breathing quick, and there is too much distance between them. 

sasuke rushes to the window, stepping onto the bench below so he can reach the latch. he slides the glass to the side, exasperation already in his voice as he says his name: “ _naruto––_ ”

but naruto doesn’t give sasuke the chance to berate him. he pushes into the room feet-first. 

“wait, naruto, _wait_.”

it’s too late. naruto has already twisted onto his stomach, kicking as he slides backward with his feet looking for solid ground. sasuke watches him flounder a moment before sighing, and he grabs onto naruto’s legs, guiding him as naruto slowly inches into the room. 

and then he’s standing on the narrow bench, staring at sasuke. sasuke grabs naruto by the elbow, and at first naruto isn’t sure if it’s to steady him or to leash him to the spot. naruto shivers. 

he looks around the room. the room smells vaguely anti-septic––almost too clean. the white walls and pale tiled floors do well to mimic a hospital room, and naruto’s chest tightens as he remembers how tonight _could_ have ended. 

naruto looks back at sasuke, watching as his scowls deepens. he releases naruto, and so close are they that when sasuke folds his arms over his chest, he brushes against naruto’s. “you idiot,” sasuke chides, “why’d you––”

naruto throws his arms around sasuke’s neck, nearly throwing the both of them off-balance in the process. “hey, watch it,” sasuke warns, but naruto just nuzzles his face into the other’s neck, holding him tight. 

“i was so scared.” 

sasuke tenses under naruto. naruto knows that sasuke doesn’t understand why he says anything and everything that comes to mind. it still unnerves sasuke at times. _“you’re so transparent,”_ he’ll say, an odd look on his face. naruto will fire back, saying it’s not a bad thing, and sasuke keeps that same strange look on his face. _“i never said it was bad.”_

sasuke’s hands come up to grip naruto’s waist this time, much less firm. “i’m alright,” he murmurs. 

naruto doesn’t believe him. 

he pulls back, sliding his hands onto sasuke’s shoulders as he looks sasuke up and down. fingerprint marks already mar sasuke’s throat, blue bruises already forming. scratches line his bare arms, and he sees two more huge mottled bruises forming on the inside of each of sasuke’s elbows, where mizuki put his knees. blood stains sasuke’s uniform and it covers much of his exposed skin. some is even on his face. 

but this is only the damage that naruto _sees_. the only sign that sasuke gives that he’s less than alright is the shaking of his shoulders, quivering under naruto’s hands. naruto stares at sasuke’s face, and he opens his mouth, but what does he say? he stares helplessly at sasuke, not knowing what to do.

sasuke, though, keeps his eyes fixed over naruto’s shoulder. stubbornly refusing to meet naruto’s gaze. he keeps his voice low when he says, “it’s not mine––the blood.”

“none of it?”

sasuke nods. 

naruto pulls sasuke close again, his dark hair tickling naruto’s face. “sasuke, i….”

just as sasuke relaxes into the embrace, he roughly pushes naruto away, and naruto recoils at first, until he sees that sasuke has his eyes on the door. “someone’s coming,” he hisses. he whips back to naruto. “you shouldn’t have come here.”

“i had to see you,” naruto hisses back.

sasuke rolls his eyes, the parts of him that were softening now hard again. he looks much more like he had in the ring, serious and calculating. “get out.” 

“i––”

“no, never mind.” sasuke looks back at the window and then at naruto. he seems to be weighing something in his mind. he clenches jaw. he then stares at the folding divider, and he jabs a finger at it. “get down there and _stay_ there.”

naruto scrambles off the bench and sits behind the divider, pushing himself back against the cold wall. sasuke gives naruto one last look, before angling the edge of the divider, semi-enclosing naruto in. 

through the slight gap, naruto watches sasuke dart to the window and slide it shut. not a moment too soon. 

just as sasuke turns back toward the door does it bang open, letting in the raucous noise of the hallway. 

“––leave us for a moment.” 

“yes, sir.”

_uchiha fugaku._

the door closes with a squeal, and for a moment a silence falls over the room. naruto hardly dares to breathe should even that be too loud. 

“that wasn’t the way i thought that would go,” fugaku growls. his cryptic tone makes naruto grip his knees, already putting him on the defensive. he wills himself to stay calm. but how can he? sasuke just went out there and did what no one else could. 

sasuke steps forward, moving out of naruto’s line of sight. “still,” he answers. “all the same, it’s done now.” his clipped words are not discourteous in the least, but his firm tone shows that whatever fault fugaku sees, sasuke disagrees. 

“oh, it’s far from done. you should’ve taken his life. what happened to what we discussed?” 

“i did take his life. he’s exiled to the wilds. that’s equal to a death sentence.” sasuke snorts. “in the shape he’s in, he’ll hardly last long.” 

naruto shivers. he hates mizuki and he hates what he said and he hates that he was willing to kill––kill _sasuke_ ––to prove a point, but naruto also hates sasuke talking so casually of mizuki dying outside the district walls. maybe because it’s sasuke. maybe because naruto wishes they could stay young and naive longer….  
but it’s too late for that. he should be grateful that tonight ended as it did and not with sasuke being carted away in pieces. the thought makes naruto squeeze his eyes shut, making him will away the imagery.

sasuke continues, “he was a sloppy opponent. better people than he would die outside the walls.” 

“sloppy?” fugaku’s voice climbs in volume. “you almost _lost_ to that ‘sloppy’ opponent. everyone would have forgotten that, though, had you done as i said. all you had to do was spill some blood. your brother has proven able to do so over and over, at a younger age than you. all you’ve done is remove culpability.” just as a tiger crouches before pouncing on its prey, fugaku pitches his tone dangerously low. “you’ll be seen as weak from here on out. anyone and everyone will challenge you.” 

“and one by one they’ll follow that man to their own deaths,” sasuke challenges. anger leaks into his voice; naruto doesn’t have to see him to know that his composure has been shaken. 

“that’s if sarutobi lets the ruling stand.” fugaku crows a humorless laugh. “it’s unprecedented what you’ve done––”

the door bangs open again, letting the noise of the hallway leak back in the room. 

“itachi.”

“father.” naruto’s hairs stand on end as itachi’s significantly calmer voice chimes in. the door clicks shut. itachi clears his throat and says, “mother sent me to check on everyone. to make sure we were all getting along.” a silence hangs over the room, and naruto isn’t sure that anyone believes that itachi didn’t interrupt on his own volition. 

itachi continues, revealing just how much he heard, “we shouldn’t diminish sasuke’s success. even if sarutobi reverses sasuke’s decision, he can’t take the success from him. another punishment will be chosen.” he pauses again, and naruto imagines him looking between his father and sasuke, carefully speaking his mind. “we should go. mother’s worried sick, and the longer we wait, the more time it gives her to charge in here as well.”

fugaku grunts (in agreement?), and his footsteps recede, moving back to the door. a beat of silence follows, and then: “you coddle him too much, itachi.”

“a win is a win.” 

fugaku grunts again and slams the door behind him. his footsteps recede down the hallway, and neither sasuke nor itachi say a word until the footsteps disappear altogether. 

sasuke huffs into the silence, “are you sure you don’t want to critique me either?” 

naruto wonders if sasuke’s aware that he pouts whenever he appeals to itachi. he wonders if sasuke would deny it should he bring up the fact later.

“mizuki was no trained fighter.” 

the statement weighs down the air. itachi asked no question, but sasuke responds as if he had. naruto imagines the look on sasuke’s face, eyes falling to the floor and fists clenched at his sides. “the lights––the noise––it was all so much. i’ve never fought like that before.” 

sasuke’s voice comes out small, like a child telling a parent what they’ve done wrong. naruto knows that sasuke would never talk to fugaku like this. 

itachi coughs. he clears his throat. “it was your first time––something father can’t quite understand.” itachi clears his throat again. “don’t let him take away your victory.” there’s a shuffling sound, and itachi’s voice sounds closer than before. “you should clean up some. mother will smother you once you’re home, so the more blood you can clean off the better.” 

“alright.” 

naruto waits for itachi to leave, but the lapse of silence stretches on and on. naruto’s leg has fallen asleep, but he dares not shift even the tiniest bit. 

itachi asks, “did you have the window open?” 

naruto’s eyes fly up to the window––shut but the latch left undone. naruto presses himself further into the wall, wishing he could turn invisible. 

“i was hot,” sasuke supplies, not missing a beat. “i let some air in.” 

“well,” itachi says, drawing out the the syllable longer than necessary. naruto doesn’t have to see him to know that itachi sees right through sasuke’s lie. naruto’s never met itachi personally, only observing him from a distance and gathering information through sasuke, but naruto knows he’s not a person you want to cross. and if sasuke has thought it prudent to keep their relationship a secret from even itachi, he can’t help but fear what might happen should itachi find out. 

but that doesn’t mean itachi doesn’t suspect something. 

itachi says, “well, i hope it helps you feel better.” another long pause follows. “and that it helps clean you up.” 

naruto’s heart drops into his stomach. 

but itachi continues with, “we’ll see you at home.” he turns and leaves after that, door shutting softly behind him. 

sasuke waits ten full seconds before pulling the divider back, ushering naruto out of his hiding spot. 

“your brother’s going to kill me,” naruto mutters. “he definitely knows.”

“he doesn’t know anything.” sasuke’s eyebrows are drawn together, his lower lip sucked between his teeth, which comforts naruto not at all. 

“well, he knows _something_.”

itachi, who naruto suspected fully knew he was there, basically had ordered him to help sasuke clean up from the duel. but naruto didn’t need anyone telling him that. 

sasuke turns away from naruto and stiffly walks to a sink in the corner of the room. a few washcloths and towels have been laid out, and sasuke snatches a washcloth and starts wetting it under the water. 

“what are you doing?”

sasuke doesn’t even look over his shoulder at naruto. “what’s it look like i’m doing?” his tone has lost its edge, though, and naruto notices the way he slightly sags against the sink as if he’s struggling to stay standing.  
naruto crosses the room and takes the washcloth out of sasuke’s hands. the other shakes his head but lets naruto take it from him. sasuke weakly implores, “forget what itachi said.” 

“already forgotten. anyway, i’m not doing it because he said so.” naruto puts a hand on sasuke’s shoulder and nudges him so he’ll sit on the adjacent bench. sasuke allows him. 

he sits down with a small huff, legs kicked out and arms limp beside him. it seems like he’s melting, good posture disregarded. sasuke’s eyes flutter shut, and he winces as he shifts on the bench. he’s hurting more than he lets on. 

naruto shakes his head, and he steps between the sprawl of sasuke’s legs to get close. he gently lifts one of sasuke’s hand and gets to work wiping the blood off his skin, from between his long fingers. “but if itachi asks,” naruto belatedly adds, “you can say that i did.”

sasuke snorts.

naruto crouches on one knee to get more comfortable. gingerly, he passes the cloth over sasuke’s split knuckles. up his arm and over the scratches. he does the next hand and arm the same way, taking care to not miss a single fleck of blood. naruto wipes the exposed part of sasuke’s clavicle, and up his neck, taking care to not press on his bruises. the cold overhead lighting casts a sickly shade on sasuke’s skin, and the more naruto stares, the more he sees that sasuke’s skin resembles a patchwork quilt of mottled flesh. 

“stop.”

naruto jerks in surprise, looking up at sasuke, who now has one eye open and watching him. sasuke says, “stop looking like that.”

“what am i supposed to look like?”

“don’t get smart.” sasuke puts his palm on the side of naruto’s face, his thumb smoothing along naruto’s lower lip. “it doesn’t suit you.” his eyes, lidded heavy, drift down to naruto’s mouth. 

naruto swallows. “i’m not dumb,” he says, but it lacks heat. he edges closer. 

sasuke’s fingers move to comb the hair at naruto’s ear. his eyes are still locked on naruto’s lips. “no,” he agrees. “you’re not.”

they meet halfway, naruto craning to meet sasuke’s mouth while sasuke pushes away from the wall to make it easier for him. naruto still has the washcloth in one hand and the other hand rests on sasuke’s knee, gripping it hard. his heart quivers in his chest.

he almost lost sasuke.

naruto’s knee presses painfully into the tile, but he dares not move from his position. he pushes on sasuke’s knee, trying to leverage himself closer, to maker sure there’s no room left between them. a knot forms in naruto’s throat, and he can’t tell if it’s happiness or fear that chokes him, that burns behind his eyes. 

sasuke––he _has_ sasuke. 

a wave of hatred crawls through naruto’s chest. he hates that fugaku let his son walk into the arena tonight; he hates that sasuke wouldn’t ever say no, putting the value of his family much higher than himself. he hates the laws that allow it to happen, that these matters can be settled with the price of a life. 

sasuke makes a noise in this throat as naruto climbs into his lap, careful to not settle his full weight on sasuke. naruto drops the washcloth onto the bench beside them in favor of cradling sasuke’s face between his hands, and he kisses sasuke’s forehead, his cheeks, every part of him that he can. he tangles his fingers in sasuke’s hair, messing it up even more. 

sasuke mouths at naruto’s neck, sighing into his skin, and the sound, sasuke’s breath on him, goes straight to naruto’s middle. 

sasuke’s hand finds the edge of naruto’s shirt, and it takes everything in naruto to pull back, effectively breaking the kiss. 

they stare at each other, chests rising and falling with quick breaths, and an unseen chasm forms between them. naruto on one side and sasuke on the other. sasuke says, “don’t worry about––”

“i’m not.” naruto chastely kisses sasuke’s jaw before pulling back again. sasuke tries to chase his mouth, but naruto gently puts a hand on his shoulder. sasuke stares up at him with a confused look. in their budding relationship, they’ve gone further than just simple kisses, but anything besides kissing seems too much right now. naruto reasons, “you’re exhausted. it’s been…a long day.” 

reason and want clashes on sasuke’s face, which does nothing to help the feeling inside naruto. of course he wants to keep going. he craves contact; he craves _sasuke_. but now is not the right time. despite his front, he knows sasuke’s hurt. he must be reeling from the everything that happened tonight. 

finally, sasuke nods. “my family’s waiting.” 

they stare at each other, and sasuke leans forward, lips meeting naruto’s only halfway there. this kiss, though, is softer––sweeter. “i’ll walk you home,” naruto murmurs against sasuke’s mouth. 

“you don’t have to.”

“i want to.”

eventually, they break apart, and sasuke picks up the washcloth. “we’ll be here all night, otherwise.” naruto eases off sasuke, and sasuke begins to wipe his face down, and down his arm, over a spot that naruto expectedly missed. sasuke gets up from the bench and pulls his bloodied top over his head. when he turns to find naruto staring, sasuke flings it at naruto’s face. 

before his vision totally disappeared, he swears he saw sasuke blush.

sasuke consequently disappears behind the divider to strip the rest of the way and change, even though naruto’s seen him near-naked before. they’ve both jumped in the lake in just their underwear plenty of times. naruto tosses sasuke’s bloodied shirt into the hamper, and by the time he looks up, sasuke’s changed back into his button-up and dark breeches. 

after he finishes lacing up his knee-high boots, sasuke jerks a thumb at the window.

a few minutes pass of awkward climbing and sasuke’s grumbling, but finally naruto makes it back out the window and into the night. the stars twinkle at him, the waning moon winking as well. 

as agreed upon, naruto circles back to the front of the arena, careful to stay hidden in the bushes so the workers don’t spot him loitering about. naruto emerges a short way from the entrance, slipping out between a trash receptacle and a thicket of tangled bushes. some stragglers are too caught in their own conversations, in the nightlife buzzing through the center of konoha, to pay attention to him. 

naruto stands adjacent to the sign inscribed “ARENA” in big letters, an arrow pointing the way, with his arms folded and affecting a casual expression. he tries to channel sasuke. 

the arena after hours looks very different from what it looked like at peak capacity; the vendors and spectators have left. the arena still buzzes with workers cleaning up, but the noise inside has died down. people have returned to their own business, the street not necessarily quiet but calmer thanks to the dispersal of everyone. 

which is why naruto jumps when sasuke lands a hand on his shoulder. “don’t sneak up behind me,” naruto complains, a whine sneaking into his voice.

“be more aware,” sasuke shoots back. “besides, that’s what you get for the stunt you pulled earlier.”

they walk down the cobblestone path, leaving a few inches between them. the whole district knows that they’re friends––that’s no secret. many thought it unusual for the youngest uchiha to find company in naruto, the boy brought in from the wilds, believing the two would grow out of each other eventually. maybe they think sasuke and naruto still will.

naruto looks down at sasuke’s hand, wanting so much to hold it. 

he tightens his hand into a fist. 

naruto grumbles, “i couldn’t _not_ go see you.” he waits for sasuke’s customary quip, the retort that he always seems to have ready no matter what naruto says. but it doesn’t come. 

naruto slides a look over to sasuke, and his heart sinks when he sees that sasuke wears a blank expression, as if lost in thought. 

naruto’s hand twitches at his side. 

“you know,” he says, lowering his voice as they pass a gaggle of children that run past them. a door opens on the street, a woman yelling after the kids and not paying attention to sasuke nor naruto as they walk past. he and sasuke were that young once.

“you know, sasuke, what i think.” sasuke breathes out a sigh beside him, but naruto plows on. “you won. i’m glad it was you. but i– can i ask you why you did that?” 

sasuke frowns. “for my family, i told you.” 

“no, no. not the duel. why’d you send mizuki to the wilds?”

they turn down an adjacent street. naruto waits as sasuke chews on his words, deciding what to say. sasuke’s hand brushes against naruto’s, much too purposefully, and naruto wraps his first two fingers around sasuke’s. he holds him for a moment before regretfully letting go. 

sasuke answers in a hushed voice. naruto barely hears him over the nightlife chatter that surrounds them. clinking glasses. slamming doors. raucous laughter as people find fun elsewhere. “you heard my father,” sasuke begins. “he thinks it was weak of me to do it.” 

“he’s wrong.”

“is he?” sasuke fixes naruto with such a conflicted look that naruto freezes on the spot. sasuke stops, too. sasuke’s question makes naruto forget that he side-stepped his original one––the why of the matter forgotten. 

sasuke asks, “is sparing myself the duty an act of cowardice?”

naruto stands stricken on the spot. sasuke’s _pleading_ naruto for his opinion. to reassure him? to argue with him? sasuke’s eyebrows are upended, scrunched together on his forehead. he keeps tugging the sleeves of his frock coat, straightening the cuffs almost obsessively. 

naruto wants to whisk sasuke into an alley where no one else can see them. he wants to smooth his hair and run his hand down his face, to try and placate his worries. he does neither of those things, however. he clears his throat and absorbs sasuke’s question. 

sasuke’s asking for _his_ opinion. 

very seriously, naruto says, “you went into that duel knowing one of you would die. your father issued the duel––not you.” he clenches his fists. “i _hate_ it––everything about it––but mizuki’s an adult that knew what he was doing. he accepted the duel because he thought he could beat you; i know it.” 

naruto takes a half-step closer to sasuke. “no one can say that you’re a coward.” 

“doing what’s expected of me doesn’t make me brave.” 

“you were afraid, but you did it anyway. i think it makes you brave.”

“and so someone dies because of my bravery?” sasuke tilts his head, and at this point, he seems to be fishing for something from naruto. like he’s searching for a specific answer.

naruto’s nails dig into his palms. he shakes his head. “yes. and i hate it; i hate it so much.” he lets out a heavy breath. “but why are there laws like that anyway? what use is there killing each other for honor and– and feuds? it’s all _bullshit_.” 

“so,” sasuke poses, “am i a coward for going along with it?” 

“i– i don’t know. why are you asking me?” 

and like that––just like that––sasuke deflates. naruto can see it in the way he smiles. it barely meets his eyes. “sorry,” he murmurs. he turns and starts walking down the street again, and it takes naruto a moment to catch up. “i’m alright,” he says once naruto does, answering naruto’s unspoken question. “i just–– my father really gets to me. sometimes i think he’s right about me….” 

naruto tugs on sasuke’s coat sleeve, fingering the embroidery. he holds on far longer than necessary. “you’re doing your best. i think that–– i think that your father wants you to think like him.” 

“and how should i think?”

“like you, of course.”

sasuke falls silent at that. 

they walk together for a few more minutes turning down two more streets before the uchiha estate comes into view. the twisted iron gates mark it against the array of tall trees, the stores and residential buildings thinning out the closer they get. naruto and sasuke pass between large stretches of shadow and light as the street lanterns also grow farther apart with less buildings around. 

as they near the gate, sasuke mentions, “i don’t regret it.” he defiantly looks naruto in the eyes, once again jerking to a halt in the street. “i don’t regret my decision.” 

naruto nearly rams into his shoulder, only just managing to toe away from him. a fire sloughs off sasuke, and it burns naruto the closer he is to him. the fight in sasuke seems to have been reinvigorated, burning bright and hot. the expression he wears nearly scalds naruto with its sudden intensity. 

“because i wanted mizuki to pay for what he said about itachi.” sasuke inclines his head, the light and shadows sliding down his face in sharp contrast. naruto’s breath catches in his chest. “in the wilds, he’ll suffer. more than i could make him in the duel.”

naruto’s opens his mouth but no sound comes out. 

sasuke watches him carefully, unmoving from his spot. “what if this is how i think, huh?” he juts his chin out, true anger leaking into his voice, looking far too much like he did when he squared up to mizuki in the ring. “what do you say to that?”

firming his jaw, naruto growls, “what do you want me to say? that i agree with you?”

“just tell me.” 

“i,” naruto swallows, “i just don’t think you _should_ have to make that sort of decision.” he throws his hands out. “everyone here tells me that family’s everything. it’s all that matters. family is your honor, your connections make you who you are. sasuke, you fought tonight because of it. you were willing to _die_ because of it.” naruto gulps down air, his voice coming out ragged now. “but family dying? to preserve the family _name_ and not family––like the ones that make it up? it’s bullshit.”

naruto’s chest heaves. “people without families in this district are overlooked. you know that. so when i see someone like you being sacrificed to preserve a reputation, of all things, it pisses me off.” naruto growls. “now i’m pissed off and all angry and shit.” he swipes a hand over his face. 

sasuke grabs that hand and jerks it away, revealing to naruto dark eyes that pierce his own. a small smile curves sasuke’s mouth, and he finally can see that sasuke…. whatever he was looking for, he got it. 

_oh, you…._

sasuke darts a look inside the gates, but the walkway to his house twists and turns, obscuring the sprawling home from view. 

before naruto realizes what’s happening, sasuke presses a kiss to naruto’s mouth. right under the street lamp. in plain view. 

granted, the street is empty, but still. 

naruto gapes like a fish that’s leapt onto shore. 

sasuke says, “i’m the stupid one, i suppose.” he releases naruto, hitching his smile up higher. this one––yeah, this one’s real. “i need to go before my mother sends a search party.” 

naruto, still riled up, still reeling from the very public kiss, has no idea what to say. he wants to keep ranting. he wants to push sasuke against the gate and discard all prior inhibitions about propositioning him on such an emotional night. 

sasuke removes his key from inside his coat and slides it into the lock. “i’ll see you,” he says. which he can say now. because they have tomorrow. sasuke slides through the gate, shutting and locking it behind him. he stands there, staring at naruto. 

despite the turning tide of emotions in naruto’s chest, happiness crashes through them all and sends his heart soaring. he walks to the gate, pressing himself against it. hands reaching through the bars and holding onto sasuke’s wrists. 

“i love you,” sasuke suddenly admits. “you’re too good.” 

“sasuke, i––”

“don’t say anything. not tonight. even if you–– even if you do mean it.” sasuke offers him another smile. his cheeks pink and digging his teeth into his lower lip, sasuke slides out of naruto’s hold and further away from the reach of the streetlamp. “now get some sleep. you look terrible.” 

before naruto has a chance to respond, sasuke turns on his heel to head down the darkened path toward his house, not even looking back. it’s intentional––the set of his shoulders, refusing to turn. 

almost like if he didn’t leave now, then he never would. 

naruto watches until sasuke disappears from sight, straining to hear until he hears a creaking noise, like a front door opening and clicking shut. the tell-tale sound that sasuke’s safe inside. 

damn him. 

naruto hangs off the gate, his fingertips buzzing where he touched sasuke’s skin. his chest still feels funny. too light. his head floats away from his body, disappearing into the night above. he sighs. 

_sasuke_. 

naruto is aware of the goofy smile that’s split his face in half. he’s been rendered stupid by three words, and sasuke. him. everything about him. gone are the troubling implications of tonight, of sasuke’s decision––sasuke’s alive, and he told naruto that he…. 

naruto sighs again, knees weak. 

“i suppose i should thank you.” 

naruto stiffens, and his gut reaction makes him jump away from the gate. that reaction is the worst thing he could do; way to look guilty. but he is guilty. and his blood runs cold, lead settling in his stomach at the voice that emanates from the darkness. 

sliding into view, just on the other side of the uchiha’s gate, stands itachi. arms folded. just as sasuke does, he inclines his head, looking at naruto down the slope of his nose. he remains at the gate’s edge, just barely slipping into the light. 

naruto has a mind to start running. but that will make it worse. right?

itachi presses his lips together before smiling at naruto, giving him a different reason to be weak in the knees. “we haven’t ever really talked,” itachi says, drawing out the syllables like little cliffs that naruto hangs from, crumbling away before he can get a good grip. “i think i should fix that.”

**Author's Note:**

> \- sorry for the cliffhanger, but i'm planning to write more in this au  
> \- i wrote a majority of this in lapslock before i realized i wanted to make this a series  
> \- if it's not clear, itachi's NOT terminally ill; he's fine!!  
> \- this is based on a dream i had last fall where the uchihas owned an illegal fighting arena in the basement of a mall, so there's a lot to unpack there  
> \- thanks for reading! ✨


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